Have you ever been so broke that you find yourself stealing toilet paper from work? Then you get home, ready to use this infamous teepee just to find out it's 1-ply? It's an awful feeling. It's worse than that feeling when you just realize that you have tapped someone else's bumper while backing out of a parking lot, but no one else saw and then you start wondering if you should really leave a note or put the petal to the metal. Using 1-ply toilet paper is a joke. Never trust anyone who uses 1-ply toilet paper in their home or office. The worst one is going on a date, using their bathroom and finding that they use it. I would rather find out that they voted for George Bush then see that shit in anyone's house. Using 1-ply is essentially telling people that you have no personal hygene. Why use 1-ply? You may as well use your hands cause that's pretty much the same thing. Don't shake hands with the 1-plyers, cause well you know where their hands have been.
I don't know where this rant is going either. Sorry. I have never been fired from a job for stealing toilet paper but could imagine the embarrassment that follows.
Then calling up my mother, "hey mom, it happened again."
Mom, (Russian accent) "What happened? The toilet paper sing? Really? In Russshia we had no toilet paper. Vee used Newspaper."
"It was 1-ply too! I feel so stupid."
"You should. 1-ply? May asvell use newspaper. "
No comments:
Post a Comment