This shit doesn't just happen! My night with Loni Love.

It's Monday and I'm trying to figure out what to write, what to make of the weekend I just had ad like many comics, the ultimate dick joke.

I performed at Cobb's Comedy club on Thursday with an amazing lineup, in a show I co-produce, "Recovering Commies." It was my first time performing in such a large venue. It's a pretty crazy mind fuck. Kind of like graduating college or high school. A lot lead up to it. Like when I graduated college, there was this odd feeling where I felt like I owned the world and after could do anything. My last day of college was like that. I didn't walk because I was poor and didn't see the point in spending money just to walk town a carpet and get the Degree I had already paid for. I was bummed though that I didn't get to throw my cap the way they did in the later seasons of "A Different World," but worked past it. I got wasted and enjoyed about a gallon of ice cream to keep the recovering fat guy inside quiet. It was glorious. Then there was the next day, hungover with the taste of food in my mouth that I couldn't remember eating. The day after any of these events always suck. That's when the question comes, now what?

I spent Friday in an odd bubble. I proceeded to watch 2 hours of Will & Grace, cause I'm a 'mo and drank about 4 cups of coffee while watching the View. I wrote some jokes like everyone's favorite one-liner:

"Suicide bombers say they do it for the 72 virgins... who wants 72 virgins? that would be like getting 72 of the girl you dated in high school who thought dry-humping would get them pregnant."

You're welcome. Then, I just stared at my computer screen for another hour while doodling a picture of a penis on my wrist cause that's how I role. I went to an open mic in a college mess hall which for some reason had ice cream just sitting there. I did what any other broke comic would do. I ate a bowl of ice cream for dinner and planned on figuring out a hot 5-set for the crowd of pre-rehab/dropout art students (4 kids and a room of comics). I then made my way to see my comedy idol, the one, the only Ms. Loni Love. This was after I went to Macy's and sampled the cologne I never planned on buying of course.

Ever since I started doing comedy and before, I loved Ms. Love. She has always been laugh out loud funny and supportive of new comics. In my experience this may be a rare thing in comedyland to find. I secretly viewed her like a comedy god mother of sorts who liked food and brown liquor. I would tweet her jokes of mine and sometimes she would actually respond which I never expected. I would watch her comedy sets on youtube all the time, back to back with old Joan Rivers and Roseanne sets on various occasions for years, especially after the second day job laid me off. I always loved how she could take the most educated topic and explain it in a way that everyone could relate. She talked about her weight and issues in a way that we could understand without over doing it. After bombing, and trying to figure out why the Chinese restaurant I did 10 minutes at didn't like my Hitler-suicide-political commentary joke, nothing felt better than anything salty followed by a gallon of ice cream, drinking wine and watching comedy online.

I planned on seeing Ms. Love years ago. Unfortunately the schedule never worked out and I would either out of town or have to work. Finally I was in line to see her live at the rRazz Room. I was alone cause no one else would go with me. I made friends with 2 girls at the show. We got schnockered while watching Ms. Love shred. Being that I had only had the ice cream, I was pretty happy with the comedy and vodka at this point. At the end of the show the 2 girls I sat with were trying to remember my name and how to pronounce it. One kept saying "Yur.... Yurrr... Yurae?" Ms. Love was in ear shot and I guess heard my name. She knew who I was off of twitter! We took a photo together. I was so high (rhetorically speaking, if my mother reads this) that I was speechless. She then asked me what I was doing the following night and offered me 5 minutes. I almost literally shat myself.

My response, "For real?"

Loni Love "you're a comic right?"

Me, "um. yeah."

She just smiled and then said to be there by 9:30...

Me, "for real?"

She nodded as I thanked her and made my way out of the place. I may or may not have squealed at that moment a few octaves higher than a dog whistle. On my way home I left 4 drunken messages for my mom, my boyfriend and my bff Yegvenia about what happened and hopped on the subway home trying to keep myself in check on the way home.

That Saturday, I rushed through my happy hour bartending shift trying to figure out a good 5 minute set for that night. I got to the show 30 min early with my friend Gretchen and Ms. Love walked by her fans and waved to me. I forgot why I was there and almost pissed myself from excitement that she was even waving to me.

I got to chat with Ms. Love for like 20 minutes in the greenroom about comedy and life. I felt like a "make a wish kid." She was so nice to us. Ms. Love didn't have to do any of this, like chatting, giving me stage time and talking business with me. During these 20 minutes, I forgot how nervous I was about my set and just enjoyed the moment.

Once on stage, I don't really know what I said or completely remember the bits I told. I do though remember making eye contact with the first table in front of me. Of course it was my Dr. and his date which added to the randomness of the night. I proceeded to tell my jokes and introduce Ms. Love.

It was a night to remember and to remember for my E True Hollywood story somewhere down the line Thanks Loni Love!