Constructive Criticism?

I am trying to force myself to write a little every day especially when I don't feel like I have anything to write about. At the moment I really have no idea what to write about though. It's like an exercise so to speak. Writing is the the only exercise where you can eat an entire pint of ice cream while doing it. That's what I'm doing, eating my way to happiness while exercising...

The older I get, the more I realize that I am not like everyone else. I'm not talking about the fact that I was born without a soul, rhythm or the floppy hair that seemed so cool in the early 90s, that I've always dreamed of. I'm not talking about the fact that I laugh at funerals, uncomfortable situations and while I can't tell dead baby jokes, I laugh at well choreographed ones. It's the fact that I don't look at obstacles the same way. If something or someone gets in the way of me obtaining something I want I will go right around them, unless there is a bar or frozen Yogurt shop near them. That's when I make a pit-stop. I don't get offended by constructive criticism. I actually prefer it.

Constructive criticism and why do we care? I don't get it. We shouldn't care. I should make it clear though that there is a difference between criticism and constructive criticism. As a comic, when I get off a stage and bombed so bar that you can still smell the remnants of my set for the next two comics, if I don't know you or ask your opinion, shut the fuck up. I don't come into your work, tree house or office, perch myself behind your neck and tell you to get off Facebook and get back to that spreadsheet. Lay off. If though I am about to go up on stage and ask a fellow comic or buddy to give me some notes or suggestions on my new bit about balls or necrophilia, then please once I get off stage and the time is right tell me what you think. Do not hold back. Be like the gay man so to speak in this situation. Gay men in this respect often make straight men jealous cause we will tell your girlfriend what she really looks like in her jeans and not care. It's the same idea.

I hate when people start their critique with "you were really good, but"... "You are very personable and have presence"... or simply point out the obvious. You do not have to pad a critique with a compliment. If I am asking for notes, or suggestions, I am not asking to get smoke blown up my ass, that's for another time and saved for behind closed rubber doors. The last part of that last sentence was a shitty joke and I'm sorry. Seriously though, tell the truth. What do you think? Give me your point of view and not a magic mirror that tells me what I want to hear. No one learns from that. I often hear that this is just a West Coast thing. Since I have lived on this coast my whole life, I don't know different (even though people look at me and because I look Jewish always assume I'm from NYC...). If this is true, West Coast people or anyone that does this. Regardless of the case, WAKE UP!

This is just what's in my head right now. Off to deal with my brain freeze now.