What's new?

     What’ new?  The answer is everything and nothing all at the same time.  What a lot of people don’t know about me is that the last 9 months of my life have been the most amazing and horrible time of my life.  No I didn’t get pregnant.  Trust me I have tried!  I just got knocked down a million pegs.  That’s life though.  My mom says I’m like Cher, every time you think she’s done, she’s back.  That’s me I guess.  I like to consider myself like cheap cologne that lingers.  Recently I survived a broken-hip, not being able to walk for near 6 months, a strange sponge bath from an elderly Philippino man (not like porn’s would lead you to believe), moved in with my new partner (we aren’t in business partners), performed with and became friends with Margaret Cho, put out my first book, “Vodka and Limelight,” a couple horrible comedy sets, a handful of killer comedy sets, turned 30, realized that all my high school crushes are now balding, had to explain the sex appeal of JTT to a 10-year old, watched 35 Lifetime Movies, watched 40 hours of various Real Housewives shows, broke a crown in my mouth, caught up on all 8 seasons of 4 TV shows, re-watched all of Designing Women, ate 65 half-gallons of ice cream, ate 60 of hostess cup cakes, learned that in a pinch almost everything tastes better our of a crock-pot, gained 15 pounds, lost 20 pounds, gained 10 pounds back, went 3 months straight in pajamas, was nationally published in the Huffington Post (through Queerty), and had 75 cans of Diet Coke because one must watch their figure.  With all this being said, I was very depressed for much of the year, unable to look at life’s blessings.  I cried when I was able to walk on my own into a Starbucks on my own to get my silly Latte because I couldn’t do that on my own.  Now I tear up at the thought of a nice cup of coffee.  I also have been clawing my way back into comedy.  It has been harder than I though.  Booze helps though.  After being in complete pain at all times for months, this stuff is no big deal.  2015 is the year when my book and comedy brand will explode.  That’s all.