What to write about?

I'm trying to force myself to write something, anything every day. Even if I don't feel like I have anything to talk about. Today for instance, I'm having a particular writer's block. While trying to think about new things to talk about on stage, all I can focus on is the sound of my fridge in my apartment. It makes this weird noise that can only be described as a ghost moaning. It's a subtle, quiet noise that works one's nerves slowly, like a Katy Perry song.

What to talk about? I guess I should start with what annoys me this very moment. This is a lot and very little at the same time. One item I find annoying is people who talk about getting married every 5 minutes. If you are getting married, don't complain to people who legally do not have the right to get married and then ask us to plan it for you. Does that make sense? If you want to get married, great. Go do it. They call it an institution for a reason. I am for being committed to another person, but the wedding part with all the hoopla ain't me. It's no big deal. I would rather wear the rings and travel the world with whoever I fall in love with. Call me crazy. I may even consider doing a small party and even a littler ceremony because my mother had told me that if I ever get married, it doesn't matter to who (even though we know that means, "as long as they are Jewish."), she will kill me if she isn't invited. Anyone who knows Jewish mothers, knows not to fuck with them, cause they will fuck a bitch up all through instigating, complaining and guilt. Unlike Catholic guilt, where you can say a few hail marries and be out of a situation, Jewish guilt lasts for generations. For the longest time I thought "Romeo and Juliet" was about a Jewish family for this very reason.

Whenever people hear that I'm not big on weddings and the idea of marriage the way society throws it at us, everyone around me turns into pushers. They are like the ones that D.A.R.E. doesn't tell you about. They end up coming at it all wrong too. Marriage is simple and something that should sell itself. I will be very clear, I am for the right to marry, cause we all should have such a right. I should have the right to invite 4 of my best friends and force them to wear for of the ugliest dresses ever made. I should also have the right to live in sin, or create a loving home for an English Bull Dog names Tallulah or a little half-Japanese, afro-puffed child just like straight do. I'm for commitment but feel like a wedding or ceremony is something that should be done 5years in, possibly as a victory celebration. People always push marriage on me though, like it's the only way and in turn always sound like used car salesmen trying to sell a lemon.

"Step right up! She's a beaut! She will take you from point A to point B. After a while for some reason you won't need to service her, but she'll need a shit load more gas cause that's the only way she'll be able to fuck you over in the end... Oh and before you aren't supposed to test drive her or look under the hood before buying. Oh, the small print, it just says that you can't test drive other cars even if they feel better to sit in and hug all the turns tighter... And it's for life. Need a pen? Sign here..."

Another thing that annoys me are people with ugly children who always ask you what you think of their kids. You'll be nice the first few times, but after a while just keep silent. I wouldn't want to be mean. I just usually smile and nod. Then by the millionth time when they try to show you a photo of their little uni-browed hyena, you may crack and say something like, "he's a character." The truth is, it's better to be ugly anyways. Ugly people learn how the world works earlier. When one doesn't have to rely on their looks from day one, they become much more interesting people in the long run that actually do shit with their lives and run the world, while the hotties just ride the coat-tails.

More bitching to come soon...