tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21157662766959436802024-02-02T06:52:08.842-08:00Yuri Kagan's BlogThis blog was intended for the sole purpose of being a creative outlet to post stories and talk about my daily life in San Francisco.YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.comBlogger470125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-8842397858471813852016-06-06T10:46:00.001-07:002016-06-06T10:47:11.625-07:00Shit Talk the Podcast<a href="https://soundcloud.com/stcomedy/shit-talk-episode-1-whats-your-deal" target="_blank">Check out "ST Podcast" on soundcloud! It's the podcast everyone is talking about! #ShitTalk</a><br />
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I have a new podcast with all the comics that perform weekly at our comedy show "Shit Talk."<br />
Check us out, rate it, hate it, love it.YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-57055777703007800812016-04-26T12:15:00.002-07:002016-04-26T12:15:22.522-07:00Up and Coming Comedians!<br />
I made this list! Check us out!<br />
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<a href="http://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/california/articles/up-and-coming-comedians-to-check-out-in-san-francisco/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=FOShare&utm_campaign=FO_HUB_EMAIL_26_04_2016_CONTROL&utm_content=Sandra_Risser" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Up-And-Coming Comedians To Check Out In San Francisco</a>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-76875232530939730542016-04-10T22:04:00.002-07:002016-04-10T22:04:37.894-07:00Runner-up for Best Male Comic!<div>
I won runner up for best male comic in the Bay Area Reporter! Thanks to all the readers and people who voted!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Some of our favorite Bestie-winning people, photographed at Oasis, include (left to right) Donna Sachet, Alex U. Inn, Jason Brock, Connie Champagne, Marga Gomez, and 'Edina and Patsy' of <i>Absolutely Fabulous</i>(Terry McLaughlin and Christian Heppinstall). photo: Georg Lester</div>
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<a href="http://ebar.com/bartab/article.php?sec=nightlife&article=184" target="_blank">Recent Article "Besties" From the Bay Area Reporter</a><br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-83398283828027449632016-03-11T23:24:00.000-08:002016-03-11T23:24:42.503-08:00today I was on the radio with Ethan Bearman<a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bw6lG0L_a0_ydl84MjZRbmtpenM/view" target="_blank">Today's appearance on KOGOin San Francisco</a>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-57708661193076366482016-03-06T10:16:00.002-08:002016-03-06T10:16:20.379-08:00Recent set #Lyft<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-75529611361123087292016-02-01T06:25:00.001-08:002016-02-01T06:25:07.247-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-53057532382627760612015-10-08T10:32:00.001-07:002015-10-08T10:32:13.210-07:00My interview with Loni Love for Queerty.com!!!!!!<div class="p1" style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
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<em><a href="https://www.queerty.com/loni-love-on-chris-christie-in-drag-and-why-there-are-so-many-great-lesbian-comedians-20151007" target="_blank">Read the full article on Queerty.com</a></em></div>
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<em>Queerty asked San Francisco barman-turned-comic Yuri Kagan, author of </em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vodka-Limelight-Yuri-Kagan-ebook/dp/B00OBWUL48/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412892338&sr=1-1&keywords=yuri+kagan" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Vodka & Limelight</a><em>, to chat with Loni Love a few weeks after his conversation with another great female comedian, <a href="http://www.queerty.com/margaret-cho-on-brojobs-fag-hags-and-donald-trumps-evil-ways-20150919" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Margaret Cho</a>.</em></div>
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<span class="s1">Some time ago, I had the pleasure of opening for <a href="http://www.lonilove.com/" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Loni Love,</a> the comedian, actress and cohost of the talk show <em>The Real</em>. </span><span class="s1">I must have done OK because</span><span class="s1"> she asked me if I would like to come back the next day and open for her again. </span></div>
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<span class="s1">Elated and flat out drunk after the show, I replied, “Shut the F up. Really? Like for real?” </span><span class="s1">So needless to say, when Queerty asked me to interview Love, concluding her Being Loni tour, it was another chance to talk to her. </span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Queerty: What is <em>Being Loni</em>? </b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><em>Loni Love</em>: It’s a one-hour special that follows different projects I’ve been doing. I hope people that people take away from it being inspired to go for their goals and aim for their dreams. Also to give my “love bugs,” my fans, a little bit more of me.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b><a href="http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/wp/docs/2015/10/LoniLove_General-f2dfa584.jpeg" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="LoniLove_General-f2dfa584" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-393651" height="300" pagespeed_url_hash="386279401" src="http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/wp/docs/2015/10/LoniLove_General-f2dfa584.jpeg" style="border: none; float: left; height: auto; margin: 8px; max-width: 100%; padding: 2px;" width="300" /></a>What makes <em>The Real</em> different? Of you, Jeannie Mai, Tamera Mowry, Tamar Braxton andAdrienne Bailon, who is the biggest diva?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><em>The Real</em> is different because you never know what we are going to do for the day. You are dealing with five girls, five different lives. We come together to try to entertain, inspire and try to give back to our audience. So far it’s working. The biggest diva would be Tamar. That’s because she was born into diva-ism because her whole family is like that. She’s just accustomed to it.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>As a comic being on a live show do you censor yourself? Have you ever had to issue an apology?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">So far I have as a comic not had to make an apology. As you know comedy is changing. You know, I think it’s just a sign of the times. People are very sensitive. I think you have to be a little more aware of things. So it’s not necessarily just censoring one’s self. Just being more aware of things that maybe in the past people could have gotten away with but on the air-waves they can’t necessarily do that.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Do you think that political-correctness has helped or hindered comedy?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Comedy is comedy. I think that you know it depends on where the comedy is being said and done. I mean, the audience. There are certain things that if you were performing in front of children you not gonna say like at a bar. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You have got to understand if you are on television and you know there is a certain demo and a certain thing you wont say you just won’t say it. Everyone is intimidated and everybody is being PC. There is a difference between you know, just being me or being funny. It’s a difference. So what is happening is that comedians have to dig deep within themselves, not just look at the surface of the joke and not do the routine joke. Comics who do this will be successful.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Vanilla, chocolate or swirl?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Swirl</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Who’s your celebrity crush and who would you like to re-do their style?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Idris Elba. Re-do their style would be Flava Flav.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Are you single and do you use any dating apps?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Um, I am a satisfied single. If you watch the show, I explain that on “the Real.” I don’t use dating apps. The last maybe I was on ChristianMingle.com.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Do you go out to gay bars with your friends?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Oh, yeah the Abbey… <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>In L.A. you know you have so much fun at the Abbey. But the only thing is they always buy me drinks so I have to leave at a certain time cause I be tore up.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Years ago you let me open for you. At the time in your act you talked about Herman Cain who was comedy gold. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Who is your favorite GOP candidate right now and who would you like to makeover or see in drag?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">I would love to make over <a href="http://www.queerty.com/tag/chris-christie" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Chris Christie</a>. I think he would make a great woman in drag. I think he would kind of favor me in drag so that’s why I would love to do that!</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>You’re hosting a new game show produced by Ellen. What is it about and when does it debut?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">It’s based on her app called Heads-Up, which has been downloaded more than 60,000,000 times. We play the game with celebrities and contestants and they win money and it’s just fun time. It’s more like the game is the center-piece but we’re actually talking and having fun while doing the game. It will premier on HLN in January.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>If you could give advice to plus-sized performers what would you say?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Basically be yourself and make sure you wear the right size clothes with flat shoes. It’s easier if you’re doing standup.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>Margaret Cho agreed to officiate the wedding of my boyfriend and myself. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Also do you have any words of advice for gay newlyweds and divorces?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">I don’t have any advice for any of the gays just like I don’t have advice for the straights. I always say better you than me. </span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>You grew up in the projects of Detroit. What advice would you have for someone growing up under the same circumstances?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">Try to be an in legal activity — not illegal. Try to get into different groups sessions and do different things to take you to see another side of the current living environment/situation you are in. That helped me. I did Girl Scouts. Even though we were poor the Girl Scouts helped me to see a different side of life.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>You were an engineer, do you miss it?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">I miss being able to take naps in my office.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>You seem to work all of the time. You never stop. Do you take vacations ever?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">I take what’s called a mini-vacation. I’ll take 1 or 2 days because of the nature of the business I can’t be away long. I’m learning to take a day or a couple of hours to myself. I am learning to enjoy myself while I am still at work, which is something I didn’t do in the past. I am still having a good time but still working.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><b>What do you think about comedy being a “boy’s club”? <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Do you have advice for women trying to break?</b></span></div>
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<span class="s1">The only reason comedy is such a boy’s club is because in order to be a successful comic you usually have to travel the road. The road is hard for most females who have relationships and want families and want to get married. It’s really hard for them. My advice to women: I always say a lot of women who are successful are lesbians. You know your top comedians, like Wanda Sykes, they are lesbians and that’s because they were allowed to have a certain lifestyle that allows them to be on the road. I tell women trying to get into comedy you have to decide what you like about comedy. You have to plan more than males do. If you want children you have to plan how you gonna have the children and still be able to do the road. It’s all about balance.</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><a href="https://www.queerty.com/loni-love-on-chris-christie-in-drag-and-why-there-are-so-many-great-lesbian-comedians-20151007" target="_blank">Read the full article on Queerty</a></span></div>
YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-60856129881784969372015-09-22T08:35:00.002-07:002015-09-22T08:35:49.610-07:00My interview with Margaret Cho!<div class="copy" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 28px; line-height: 38px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; width: 669px;">
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<i>For the full article on Queerty.com go to: <a href="http://www.queerty.com/margaret-cho-on-brojobs-fag-hags-and-donald-trumps-evil-ways-20150919" target="_blank">http://www.queerty.com/margaret-cho-on-brojobs-fag-hags-and-donald-trumps-evil-ways-20150919</a></i><br />
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<em>We asked San Francisco barman turned comic <a href="http://www.queerty.com/13-guaranteed-ways-to-fail-at-picking-up-someone-up-at-a-bar-from-a-castro-bartender-20150307" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Yuri Kagan</a>, author of </em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vodka-Limelight-Yuri-Kagan-ebook/dp/B00OBWUL48/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412892338&sr=1-1&keywords=yuri+kagan" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Vodka & Limelight</a><em>, to talk to Margaret Cho, one of his heros. Here is the conversation.</em></div>
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Like many budding homos, I adored Margaret Cho since <em>All American Girl</em>, the 1994 sitcom featuring the comic as the rebellious teenage daughter in a Korean-American family. My mother and I watched every episode together. As an American child of Russian immigrants I connected to her story as though it were my own. Growing up I was never American enough for many American kids because of my name, <em>Yuri Kagan</em>, bilingual upbringing and strange pickled lunch choices. I was too American for Russians to understand so I grew up in a kind of limbo. As a self-realized adult gay man and standup comic she became a kind of mentor and even friend.</div>
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I talked her as she prepared for a Sept 25 Showtime stand up appearance and the launch of her <a href="http://margaretcho.com/" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">psyCho tour</a>, which includes stops in San Francisco, Chicago and Los Angeles.</div>
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<strong>Queerty: First things first. What’s a “brojob”?</strong><br />
<em>Margaret Cho</em>: Is it where a straight guy gives another straight guy a blowjob?</div>
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<strong>Yes!</strong></div>
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That’s so weird. It’s fine. I don’t know if people want to keep those sort of labels to keep their heterosexuality intact? It’s like homosexuality exists regardless of identity, outside of anything. Gay sex is awesome!</div>
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<strong>What do you think of shows like <em>Fresh Off The Boat</em> being compared to <em>All American Girl</em>?</strong><br />
I love it because that really is what I was trying to do. For me it’s a dream realized. Seeing shows out there like <em>Fresh Off The Boat</em> and it’s something I had a bit of a hand in at the very beginning. I am happy to say I will be on the next Asian-American show. I will be playing Ken Jeong’s sister on <em>Dr. Ken</em>. It’s really cool. I think it’s exciting for me to have done this 21 years ago and finally seeing this happen is really extraordinary.</div>
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<strong>Your show helped pave the way.</strong><br />
I think it’s taken television a long time to come around to Asian-Americans. It’s been a journey. I am grateful to have been a part of that. I am just excited it’s happening.</div>
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<strong>In your up coming “psyCho” comedy tour, you plan in marrying couples.</strong><br />
I wanted to do this because I have been working on marriage equality since 2004. During that time, Gavin Newsom deputized me to perform weddings at City Hall. That was inspiring even though we were between gay marriage becoming legal, then banned over and over. It was a great triumph to be able to do that so I wanted to bring that energy and that celebration to these shows. A lot of the people coming to these shows had a lot to do with the fight for marriage equality. It’s our reward and it’s important.</div>
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<strong>My mom read about it and now has been trying to get my boyfriend and I to get married by you. It’s not good for me. The pressure is on.</strong><br />
I’ll marry you any time. It doesn’t have to be this fall.</div>
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<strong>Now lets get to tough questions. On a hookup do you prefer guest or host privileges?</strong><br />
It depends. Guest is always good. Hosting, at least you’re home. If it goes wrong at least you can make somebody leave. You never know what you are getting into at someone’s house, their living situation. You don’t know how clean it’s going to be. It’s very complicated.</div>
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<strong>Do you use Tinder?</strong><br />
I don’t know how! I’m pretty hopeless with any app.</div>
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<strong>Who is your favorite GOP candidate and which would you want to see in drag?</strong><br />
<a href="http://www.queerty.com/tag/chris-christie" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Chris Christie</a>. He would probably be fishy. Donald Trump is not my favorite. He is disgusting. He is so awful towards Latinos and you know pretty much everybody… women. He’s a nightmare.</div>
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<strong>Have you met him?</strong><br />
I’ve never met him. He tried to get me on <em>Celebrity Apprentice</em> for a number of years, which I’ve really resisted because everybody I know that has done it has had such a bad time. I don’t know if I would want to meet him. I didn’t realize how terrible he was until he was actually running for president. The fact that he is the front-runner is really depressing.</div>
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<strong>If you were interviewing him on behalf of the country what would you ask him?</strong><br />
Why is it so hard to answer a question from Univision? Why can’t you give a reporter from Univision the same respect you give everyone else? His treatment of Jorge Ramos and his fear of Latinos opinion of him, he should be afraid. His racism is terrible. I think he’s got to own up to it.He for example targets Rosie O’Donnell publicly all the time. Do you think he targets her specifically because it’s her or what she represents as a voice for lesbians, a lot of minorities he may not like? There are plenty of other comics who make fun of him without the same backlash.</div>
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He gets mad because she is an example of a kind of a faction he can’t control. He can’t control women who don’t need a man to define them. It’s the most terrifying thing for him. It’s like women who don’t need a man like him makes him irrelevant. That’s something he can’t have which is why he is always trashing Rosie O’Donnell, and by proxy any woman that doesn’t care what he thinks. His definition of a woman is somebody to service him sexually or service his games.</div>
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<strong>Uppers or downers?</strong><br />
Downers</div>
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<strong>So you’re a pothead?</strong><br />
And alcohol… You know, I have never been an uppers person. They make me too nervous. It makes me feel really mean and dehydrated.</div>
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<strong>What’s a public misconception about you?</strong><br />
I think because I am so autobiographical people actually have many misconceptions.</div>
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<strong>Any advice for the fag hags of 2015?</strong><br />
We have to change our name which I address in the show. It’s outdated. Although, the new generation uses terms like fruit fly or fairy princess. I’ve never found anything as descriptive as fag hag but I do not like to use those terms even though it’s a part of our own history.</div>
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<strong>What is the next step for the gay movement?</strong><br />
We are going to focus on equal rights across the board. Now that marriage equality is in place, we’ve got to find the equivalent for gay families in terms of adoption. That’s where conservatives will try to restrict our rights. Our energy needs to go towards legislation of what is a hate crime and who are the victims of them.</div>
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<strong>What is #BeRobin?</strong><br />
This in response to our own grief surrounding the death of Robin William. Also it’s to celebrate his life of activism, compassion and history of street performance. Everyone has revolving different shows they are doing. They all just benefit homeless. I want to do more. There is a documentary coming out. There will be more when I go back to living in San Francisco more permanently.</div>
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<strong>Ed Lee spoke about cleaning up the homeless problem in San Francisco for the Superbowl.</strong></div>
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I don’t know what that means. They are a part of the city. How do you clean that? By denying their existence? I’m all for helping people get off the streets but when it’s for a specific event you’re denying them. It’s not a solution.</div>
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<strong>If you could give 18-year old Margaret Cho advice what would you say?</strong><br />
Don’t worry so much. I would encourage myself to have more fun.</div>
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<em>Yuri Kagan’s “Full-Frontal” is a comedy show produced by comedians Valerie Branch every third Thursday of the month at the Lookout bar in San Francisco. Half the proceeds go to #BeRobin.</em></div>
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YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-84705810645858954912015-09-14T08:25:00.001-07:002015-09-14T08:25:55.812-07:00Recent set at Rooster T Feathers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Me a few nights ago!</div>
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GRKaLLVWefw/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GRKaLLVWefw?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-47748815905688349022015-08-27T09:16:00.001-07:002015-08-27T09:16:35.852-07:00A recent article I wrote for Queerty.comCheck out this silly article I wrote for Queerty! Read the haters comments! It makes me happy to be a comic!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.queerty.com/four-reasons-everyone-and-we-mean-everyone-should-be-welcome-to-party-at-gay-bars-20150823">Link to queerty article</a>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-86989016151643167742015-06-15T19:43:00.001-07:002015-06-15T19:43:23.478-07:00Last night at Punchline!<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DzKPynLVA3I" width="459"></iframe>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-68830742969787182142015-05-15T09:00:00.003-07:002015-05-15T09:00:58.240-07:00Five Things That Make A Great Bartender Other Than Being “Hot”Here is a copy of the article I wrote for Queerty.com<br />
<a href="http://www.queerty.com/five-things-that-make-a-great-bartender-20150515">Five Things.... Original article</a><br />
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<strong>To celebrate <a href="http://www.gaycities.com/cocktailclassic/" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">The Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic</a>, Castro bartender, comedian and author <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vodka-Limelight-Yuri-Kagan-ebook/dp/B00OBWUL48/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412892338&sr=1-1&keywords=yuri+kagan" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Yuri Kagan</a> came up with five things that make a great bartender.</strong></div>
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<strong>1. “Hot” is not enough </strong></div>
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A six-pack, low cut T-shirt and looking great in tight jeans may initially land you a job in some establishments. But that’s it. Longevity in the job comes from personality, skill and multitasking oders. Personality is what wins the game. We’ve all been annoyed by pretty but incompetent servers who think that posing is all the job requires. Meanwhile, the line gets longer.</div>
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<strong><a href="http://www.queerty.com/bartenders-get-laid-all-the-time-and-12-other-myths-about-bartenders-20141109" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Related Post: Bartenders get laid all the time and 12 other myths about bartenders</a></strong></div>
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<strong>2. Don’t be a booze know-it-all</strong></div>
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When a customer leans into your station, resist the urge to educate on the distillation process of various spirits or waste time on arguing the difference between top and bottom shelf vodka–unless the customer <wbr></wbr>asks. People come to bars to unwind, not for a history lesson.</div>
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<strong>3. Create a show</strong></div>
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It really is all about the drama, and not just at gay bars. You are the entertainment. (Along with the Kay Perry vids on the big screen or the ballgame.) Slow, busy, bar patrons are checking you out. Making the mundane look interesting is key. Keep up several conversations while mixing your fabulous concoctions. Tell stories. They don’t even have to be true as long as they are interesting. A true bartender has the gift of being able to keep a conversation going seamlessly among multiple people.</div>
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<strong><a href="http://www.queerty.com/ten-things-you-should-know-about-gay-bars-from-a-castro-bartender-20141020" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Related Post: Ten things you should know about gay bar from a Castro bartender</a></strong></div>
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<strong>4. Size matters</strong></div>
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Don’t be obvious about how precise you are measuring the alcohol content of a cocktail. It makes people think that they are getting less alcohol–even if the opposite is true. People who think they are getting stiffed don’t return. Be generous.<u></u></div>
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<strong>5. Good guys finish first</strong></div>
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Smile even when your heart is aching. In fact, don’t talk about your personal life at all. Ever. Patrons are there to have fun, not be your therapist. It’s just sending your life down a rabbit-hole without the benefit of a hallucinogenic. No one needs to know all about your BS. People come to unload their problems and not hear about yours.</div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<strong><a href="http://www.queerty.com/13-guaranteed-ways-to-fail-at-picking-up-someone-up-at-a-bar-from-a-castro-bartender-20150307" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Related Post: 13 guaranteed ways to fail at picking up someone at a bar</a></strong></div>
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<strong><a href="http://www.gaycities.com/cocktailclassic/" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">The Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic</a> is almost here. Eleven cities have already picked bartenders to send to the Grand Finale in Key West, with just two West Coast events remaining–<a href="http://www.gaycities.com/cocktailclassic/cities/seattle/" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Seattle (May 17)</a> and <a href="http://www.gaycities.com/cocktailclassic/cities/san-francisco/" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">San Francisco (May 27)</a>.</strong></div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<em>Comedian Yuri Kagan has spent the past decade bartending at watering holes around San Francisco. From thumping gay clubs like <a href="http://sanfrancisco.gaycities.com/bars/1-badlands" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Badlands</a> and mixology taverns like <a href="http://sanfrancisco.gaycities.com/bars/2147-blackbird" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Blackbird</a> to dives like <a href="http://sanfrancisco.gaycities.com/bars/19-edge" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Edge</a>. Check out his book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vodka-Limelight-Yuri-Kagan-ebook/dp/B00OBWUL48/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412892338&sr=1-1&keywords=yuri+kagan" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Vodka & Limelight</a>.</em></div>
YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-85756098960411071272015-05-13T09:55:00.001-07:002015-05-13T09:55:56.501-07:00A recent comedy setHere is a set in the works... Polishing a turd.<br />
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<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Jnv2OzqyGFE" width="480"></iframe>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-55566450098996169662015-05-08T13:36:00.001-07:002015-05-08T13:36:29.519-07:00Buy my book "Vodka and Limelight" now in print!<div style="background-color: white; border: 1px solid #000000; font-family: Verdana; height: 238px; text-align: center; width: 118px;">
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<a href="http://www.thebookpatch.com/BookStore/vodka-and-limelight/47e04516-bdf2-4df3-92fc-e891ce65b5dc"><img alt="Generic cover image" src="http://www.thebookpatch.com/PublishedBooks/47e04516-bdf2-4df3-92fc-e891ce65b5dc/47e04516-bdf2-4df3-92fc-e891ce65b5dc_79.jpg" style="border: 1px solid #000000; width: 79px;" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thebookpatch.com/BookStore/vodka-and-limelight/47e04516-bdf2-4df3-92fc-e891ce65b5dc">Vodka and Limelight</a></div>
<div style="font-size: 9.8px; margin: 2px 0 4px 0;">
Yuri Kagan</div>
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$11.99</div>
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<a href="http://www.thebookpatch.com/BookStore/vodka-and-limelight/47e04516-bdf2-4df3-92fc-e891ce65b5dc"><img alt="Buy Now button" src="http://www.thebookpatch.com/images/TheBookPatchBuyNowButton3.png" style="border: none; width: 60px;" /></a></div>
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YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-86268102107891140182015-04-10T11:13:00.001-07:002015-04-10T11:13:28.936-07:0013 Guaranteed Ways To Fail At Picking Up Someone Up At A Bar From A Castro Bartender<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<em><a href="http://www.queerty.com/13-guaranteed-ways-to-fail-at-picking-up-someone-up-at-a-bar-from-a-castro-bartender-20150307">Repost from original article on Queerty.com</a></em><br />
<br />
<em><br /></em>
<em>F</em><em>or a nearly a decade Yuri Kagan, author <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vodka-Limelight-Yuri-Kagan-ebook/dp/B00OBWUL48/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412892338&sr=1-1&keywords=yuri+kagan" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Vodka & Limelight</a>, has slung drinks at watering holes, from the gay male variety to the sexually ambiguous sort. </em></div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<strong>He collected some of his best tips on how to get lucky or go home alone…</strong></div>
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<strong>1. Boy you must be tired… of running through my mind all night… Those cheeks look good enough to eat off.</strong></div>
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So your once trusty pickup-lines are now greeted by an awkward stare? Stop using them. There are great conversation starters, others linger like bad gas. A great pickup-line that works for both sexes: You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere? It works even if you know you have never met. It’s an easy way to start a conversation, casually flirt and put feelers out with little risk. If after two words you aren’t into it just apologize and go back to fishing the cherry out of the bottom of your drink. Awkwardness minimized.</div>
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<strong>2. While on a date where booze is involved don’t blame booze for everything you fuck up. </strong></div>
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<em>I didn’t mean to grab your butt, I’m drunk.</em> First off, know your limits and take responsibility for your own actions. Second, blaming booze doesn’t make sense. I wouldn’t blame Sake for Pearl Harbor or Tequila for stealing American jobs so leave booze alone. On this topic, if you don’t live in dorms don’t act like it. It’s not a drinking competition. No one cares how much you drink unless they have to take care of you.</div>
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<strong>3. Don’t send anyone to do the flirting for you. </strong></div>
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This is true for any type of relationship. You aren’t in study hall anymore so don’t send your gal pal up to tell me how you think I’m cute and ask what I think. If you want to know, do it yourself or live wondering forever.</div>
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<strong>4. See that bitch at Starbucks on his phone even while ordering coffee? </strong></div>
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The one where it’s hard to tell who she is talking to or about? The barista has to ask this person to repeat their drink so you just roll your eyes. Don’t be that person on a date. Put the phone away period.</div>
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<strong>5. Do not talk about you exes, people you have slept with, your painful corns, the co-worker that always steals your parking spot, your opinion on abortion, the death of your sister or cat. </strong></div>
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Keep your baggage to yourself like that bald spot you may have and only you notice. Like Santa, slowly gift your baggage out of your large bag of crap one item per date. It’s too much to hear all of another person’s problems in one sitting because we are usually more preoccupied with ourselves.</div>
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<strong>6. You know what’s hot on a date? Tipping.</strong></div>
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Seriously, people that visibly tip get more play. It shows they are generous and care enough to pay for service. Bartenders don’t make the rules, it’s just the way it is. Also, don’t tell the other person how to tip. No one likes a backseat tipper.</div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<strong><a href="http://www.queerty.com/13-guaranteed-ways-to-fail-at-picking-up-someone-up-at-a-bar-from-a-castro-bartender-20150307/unnamed-10-360x188-2" rel="attachment wp-att-356119" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="unnamed-10-360x188" class="alignright wp-image-356119 size-full" src="http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/wp/docs/2015/03/unnamed-10-360x188.jpg" height="188" pagespeed_url_hash="1252071593" style="border: none; float: right; margin: 8px; padding: 2px;" width="360" /></a>7. Don’t ask the <em>so why ya’ single?</em>question unless you want to stay single.</strong></div>
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It’s a pretty dumb question to which there is no good answer. No one wants to hear the response to which is the truth about how the love of your life dumped you at Ikea because you didn’t like his taste in paisley sheets.</div>
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<strong>8. Offer to pay now and again.</strong></div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
It’s about offering — with the freedom-based, rule free gay culture it’s sometimes hard to figure out the rules. Here is how it goes: If you invite the person out, you should at least offer to buy them a drink even if you know he will pay because of that great job as a Facebook programmer or Apple engineer. It’s about manners. This goes for both gay and straight relationships. Nothing is harder to watch then a woman who assumed her date was buying her a drink and doesn’t have enough cash. Also, if someone buys you drinks you don’t technically owe him anything but it could be considered common courtesy to let them at least cop a feel or more if you are feeling it after a few of those drinks.</div>
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<strong>9. Again, get off that phone!</strong></div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
Straight, gay or greedy it doesn’t matter. If you are out at a bar or place with a lot of single people, get off of Tindr, Grindr, Hookd or any variation/combination. It’s a bit redundant to be in a virtual bar in a real bar. Save that for when you’re at home or at work and there is slim-pickin if you are not interested in the boy next door or your roomie. No one want to walk up to you if you are absorbed in your phone, especially if you are on one of those apps chatting up the guy at the bar next door or in the townhouse up the street. We all know what you are doing as your finger slides across that screen. It’s especially annoying if we walk right past you and see a dick photo on your phone of a guy who is literally across the room.</div>
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<strong>10. Don’t talk to the bartender more than the person you are with. </strong></div>
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Also, make eye-contact. Not the creepy, couple seconds too long eye-contact. Just enough to show you care. On a side note: You won’t go home with the bartender so stop being rude.</div>
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<strong>11. Don’t be too quick to casually announce you don’t believe in condoms.</strong></div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
First off it could be considered irresponsible, depending on the circumstances, and is a case of putting the cart before the stallion or something like that.</div>
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<strong>12. A date is not the time to officially come out.</strong></div>
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If you are new to gay, we already know cause you still have that new car smell.</div>
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<strong>13. Don’t pretend not to eat. </strong></div>
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You aren’t a Ken doll. Nothing is more sad then watching a woman or a gay man out on a date with a tiny salad while their date has the surf n’ turf. We know you are stuffing your fat gourd behind closed doors so keep it real.</div>
<div style="font-family: georgia, times, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; margin-top: 0.7em; padding: 0px;">
<em>Check out Yuri Kagan’s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vodka-Limelight-Yuri-Kagan-ebook/dp/B00OBWUL48/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1412892338&sr=1-1&keywords=yuri+kagan" style="color: #994a00; text-decoration: none;">Vodka & Limelight</a> on Amazon</em></div>
YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-7910706854877661772015-02-19T10:40:00.002-08:002015-02-19T10:40:29.781-08:00I'm in the Bay Area Reporter!Check out this whole article out in the Bay Area Reporter about my book, "Vodka and Limelight!"<br />
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:)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihxF1ANnzfEc75iLeegen_BNH8BitxQShPiGWCVll2PYLUIWvdn_OFSAPz6F-jABBR5I5S5GqnX7Ouhn-Jo8J2klCpqHahkC-AdWY8PckhcOBObxQwnmQjDAMilhe2WAXeXdmMHqrYwA/s1600/V+L-Flyer-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihxF1ANnzfEc75iLeegen_BNH8BitxQShPiGWCVll2PYLUIWvdn_OFSAPz6F-jABBR5I5S5GqnX7Ouhn-Jo8J2klCpqHahkC-AdWY8PckhcOBObxQwnmQjDAMilhe2WAXeXdmMHqrYwA/s1600/V+L-Flyer-1.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://ebar.com/bartab/article.php?sec=bartab&article=152">http://ebar.com/bartab/article.php?sec=bartab&article=152</a>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-55052498531129741332015-02-11T12:28:00.001-08:002015-02-11T12:28:33.601-08:00What's new?
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What’ new?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
answer is everything and nothing all at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a lot of people don’t know about
me is that the last 9 months of my life have been the most amazing and horrible
time of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No I didn’t get
pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me I have tried!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just got knocked down a million
pegs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s life though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom says I’m like Cher, every time
you think she’s done, she’s back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s me I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like
to consider myself like cheap cologne that lingers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recently I survived a broken-hip, not being able to walk for
near 6 months, a strange sponge bath from an elderly Philippino man (not like porn’s
would lead you to believe), moved in with my new partner (we aren’t in business
partners), performed with and became friends with Margaret Cho, put out my
first book, “Vodka and Limelight,” a couple horrible comedy sets, a handful of
killer comedy sets, turned 30, realized that all my high school crushes are now
balding, had to explain the sex appeal of JTT to a 10-year old, watched 35
Lifetime Movies, watched 40 hours of various Real Housewives shows, broke a
crown in my mouth, caught up on all 8 seasons of 4 TV shows, re-watched all of
Designing Women, ate 65 half-gallons of ice cream, ate 60 of hostess cup cakes,
learned that in a pinch almost everything tastes better our of a crock-pot,
gained 15 pounds, lost 20 pounds, gained 10 pounds back, went 3 months straight
in pajamas, was nationally published in the Huffington Post (through Queerty),
and had 75 cans of Diet Coke because one must watch their figure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With all this being said, I was very
depressed for much of the year, unable to look at life’s blessings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cried when I was able to walk on my
own into a Starbucks on my own to get my silly Latte because I couldn’t do that
on my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I tear up at the
thought of a nice cup of coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also have been clawing my way back into comedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been harder than I though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Booze helps though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After being in complete pain at all times for months, this stuff is no
big deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2015 is the year when my
book and comedy brand will explode.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s all.</div>
YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-20859715467488193482014-12-29T11:04:00.003-08:002014-12-29T11:04:39.287-08:00The day I shat myself... Rough draft<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
entire life my mother always told me that I was a 45 year old man since I was
5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyone that has ever crossed
paths with me could vouch for this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have always tried to take care of myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I were allowed to I would probably have changed my own diaper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a kid, when guests were over, after
a long meal I would offer them a cigarette.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the 80s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It sounded less horrible then.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
was in the 4<sup>th</sup> grade the first time I flew on an airplane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was 9, Boyz II Men were still boys,
Queen Latifah still rapped and Madonna closer to the age of them boys in her
music videos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was another
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a little bit before
we got dial-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t know
what that means, look it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anyway, our class spent most of the year raising money to go on a field
trip to Sacramento.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After selling
as many chocolate bars as our families could bare, our entire class went for
just a day from our home base in San Diego to Sactown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On
this trip lots of parents came to chaperone their children on this trip to our
state capital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was one of maybe
4 kids in our 30 person class who’s parent did not come on this trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this time my mother worked 7 days a
week and very hard to provide for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I packed up my walkman, fannypack, fruit by the foot candy and left for
the trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was assigned to hang
out for the duration of the day with my friend Trey and his mother as my
chaperone.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
flight was 80 minutes long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
the longest of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seemed
like eternity to little me, yet I only recently remembered this happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a point between landing and
reaching the terminal where I lost it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t know why but I just lost bowel function.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually when I say this I am kidding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this situation I am not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a cute, big-headed kid that shat
his pants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even then I was a grown
ass man because I took care of my shit most literally by myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t tell a soul that my pants were
filled more than the bathing suits on “Bay Watch.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I not only didn’t tell anyone, I also didn’t make a scene of
any kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent the entire day
walking around in my own shit, went panning for gold because that was what
people did in Sacramento then, went to museums, took another flight back to San
Diego and my lips were sealed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No
one knew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not even my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The second I got home I scrubbed and
washed my clothing so no one could be the wiser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I figured that there was no reason to involve anyone else in
my shit, a thought that I would echo later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The interesting question is did the people on this trip have
no sense of smell? </div>
YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-35178977261229069892014-12-15T14:17:00.000-08:002014-12-15T14:17:03.364-08:00When I was a homophobe There was a time recently when I was called a "homophobe." When I heard this I thought that someone should immediately inform my boyfriend. This was the was first time in my life I had ever been accused of this actually. What happened was I responded to a picture I saw shared on Facebook. It was a photo of a little boy with the "No on 8" campaign design on his cheek while holding a sign which read "My name is" whatever his name is "I am not gay but get called'... then listed pejoratives variations of the word faggot. The sign when on to explain how his parents complained about the bullying to the school district and they not only took no action but the bullied kid was reprimanded by the school. I saw this sign and was shocked. I also felt horrible for the kid. I commented on the photo saying that people should have supported the kid based on the fact that he was a child being bullied and that alone. His sexuality had no relevance. Then lots of people commented getting upset. I then went on to say that there was no reason to explain if this child was gay or not. People should support all bullied children and try to protect them for the reason that they are kids and that alone. After hundreds of others commented on this post someone randomly commented that I was the H-word. This was said out of context. Then when I commented saying that whether this kid was gay or not all that mattered was he needed help Then again I was attacked by people on this post. One person even went on to talk about how he had met me and knew people like me even though we had never met nor did we have any mutual friends. He also lived in a part of the country I had never been to. Then one of people on this board took a photo of one of my comments without the context of the "No on 8" photo and then posted it onto a blog called Joemygod, because the more drama the merrier. The next day I was tweeted by about 40 people calling me a hateful homophobe telling me about how homophobia still had existed, an argument I never made in the first place... Interestingly enough what these twitter people hadn't realized was that attaching me in this way on my personal account was pretty homophobic in itself. I did not ever say that homophobia didn't exist. I also never said that this kid from the original conversation was not called homophobic slurs but that didn't make his cause a gay one. By clearly mentioning that this kid is not gay while advertising a symbol of gay rights does not make this kid's cause a gay one. It's about a child who needs defending. That's all.YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-15026864905148912222014-12-06T11:59:00.001-08:002014-12-06T12:00:20.584-08:00Vodka and Limelight donates to Margaret Cho's #BeRobin !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Come out to this event! On Wednesday 12/10 come out to a live reading and storytelling from my book "Vodka and Limelight!" For every book purchased on 12/10 I will donate $3 per book to Margaret Cho's charity #BeRobin ! There will be surprise guests and local celebrities! Please share, come and donate!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwagvYs0dBu4tiljdTodNNjzP6FSqq1QMnP2cRk7eRaHGP24Ls_yBvs8PfPlnVk2RWsqZpEc9Ci66v-3UZugbyLrG1uUrNAgEwfpXzCpJES_j1nmm02BYeLX8nzdiiKYpDoEI-c1rLxfg/s1600/VL-Poster8x11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwagvYs0dBu4tiljdTodNNjzP6FSqq1QMnP2cRk7eRaHGP24Ls_yBvs8PfPlnVk2RWsqZpEc9Ci66v-3UZugbyLrG1uUrNAgEwfpXzCpJES_j1nmm02BYeLX8nzdiiKYpDoEI-c1rLxfg/s1600/VL-Poster8x11.jpg" height="640" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-5099561556822455072014-12-06T11:52:00.000-08:002014-12-06T11:52:02.187-08:00Come out 12/10! Buy "Vodka and Limelight" and I'll donate to #BeRobin !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkaXXGiTsDiouqGpdTl1R39WQ9loaqbRnS8_PkGoT84zBgwUxFtOS2dFiUP0sT2AzDXyYwD82-TnTGkCKYkUbx5gwqkO8_DI625MUWNQfJtwh6vYHhcT1MDnTNyn-BrMB5dOBz00H4Sf8/s1600/VL-Posterbootycall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkaXXGiTsDiouqGpdTl1R39WQ9loaqbRnS8_PkGoT84zBgwUxFtOS2dFiUP0sT2AzDXyYwD82-TnTGkCKYkUbx5gwqkO8_DI625MUWNQfJtwh6vYHhcT1MDnTNyn-BrMB5dOBz00H4Sf8/s1600/VL-Posterbootycall.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-5035761406176530312014-11-05T09:38:00.000-08:002014-11-05T09:39:22.586-08:00Review Vodka and Limelight<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Check out my new book! Vodka and Limelight! </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYqu0i5HMhtYBKbutMBncMeWglJnzwHzybm532bNX-CQU_BGD5kyiHh0fEfqvKN3nECEYZB1IetWMB6Tm1R0c4UxMpU3_YyMCTYOrvaA_QltUWZIBpCt9h5i-A_fjV8NS3YkrEna1r3sI/s1600/fb-cover-image.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYqu0i5HMhtYBKbutMBncMeWglJnzwHzybm532bNX-CQU_BGD5kyiHh0fEfqvKN3nECEYZB1IetWMB6Tm1R0c4UxMpU3_YyMCTYOrvaA_QltUWZIBpCt9h5i-A_fjV8NS3YkrEna1r3sI/s1600/fb-cover-image.png" height="118" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/humor/9755" target="_blank">Vodka and Limelight - Story of a Bartender</a>YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-65107322754038551982014-10-22T12:48:00.000-07:002014-10-22T12:48:02.177-07:00"Run Forrest"
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Intro rough draft for my next book....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They
say to write about what you know. Something you’re an authority on. I suppose
writing about how to roll the perfect joint doesn’t make for a best seller. I
do know how to drink responsibly and not be the guy who ever gets kicked out of
a bar for any reason. That’s not a topic. Just called being an adult. I am
though the biggest klutz who’s survived more odd injuries/impediments than
Lindsay Lohan’s career. This is a topic that I am an authority on: surviving
the lemons life throws and coming out a better person with lemonade and a funny
story. At the end of the day that’s all we have. Our stories. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
could start by telling you about one of the three black eyes I have survived in
my life. None of which resulted from a fist. I could tell you about how during
my 10 years bartending I accidentally cut my hands on glass more times than an
old person cuts the cheese. I could tell you about my 19<sup>th</sup> birthday.
When I broke my foot walking New York City. Yes. Walking. I could tell you
about how I was hit by a car while crossing the street and not only survived
but changed the world around me. I can tell you how I ended up with a few
screws in my femur, a surgery that made me into the real life bionic man and
left me with the uncanny ability to forecast the weather. We will circle back
to that one later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I suppose it’s best to start at the
beginning. I was born with two left feet. That’s not a euphemism. I was the
cutest pigeon-toed, flat-footed, bigheaded, shockingly pale-white little boy
you ever did see. You would have
to be blind not to see me. I heard people needed sunglasses to look at baby me.
I was so damn white. Back talking about my two literally left-feet. I was
forced to sleep with these braces on my feet. Not exactly “Forrest Gump” style
but similar. This is what the podiatrist assured my parents would help fix my
feet. A pair of shoes with a metal bar connecting them and keeping the toes
pointed as far out as possible. This was understood as the only way to help me
have a normal life meaning able to walk like other people. It was also before I
knew that I would never be like anyone else and that was actually okay.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Every night I would go to bed with
those heavy braces on my little meatloaf looking feet. As a toddler I thought
there wasn’t anything heavier than that bar holding my feet in place. As an
adult I realize that bar couldn’t have been more than 3-5 pounds. At bedtime my mom would tuck me into
bed, which was a playpen because I was known for climbing out of the crib. I
was the <i>MacGyver</i> of infants. What can
I say? After mom hummed lullabies, setting me down in the pen and shut the
light off, I was vehemently at work on an escape mission to find me <i>real</i> family, the rich one. I had lots of
living to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I have never liked the word can’t
or limitations others may put on one another. I also have never liked the word
can’t. Many other kids in my situation would have thought, “I am in bed with
heavy weight on my feet, maybe I should go to sleep.” Or feel bad about
themselves for not being like everyone else. Not this guy. I took my legs, lied
on my back rocking them back and forth in the middle of the night with my feet
dangling over the side of the playpen.
After like 20 tries the momentum of the weight of the braces allowed my
little body to fly across the room, and limp with the bar holding my feet
together, pointed out the living room. Once there my mother would scream out of
fear saying, “you could have killed yourself.” I would try to protest my
bedtime and every time my father would carry me back to bed telling me to stay
put. This would continue for another few years. Luckily I never stopped
exploring and we eventually realized that the silly feet-braces didn’t work.</div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-87674160341688330262014-10-20T10:09:00.000-07:002014-10-20T10:09:02.773-07:00Ten Things You Should Know About Gay Bars From a Castro Bartender<a href="http://www.queerty.com/ten-things-you-should-know-about-gay-bars-from-a-castro-bartender-20141020">Ten Things You Should Know About Gay Bars From a Castro Bartender</a><br />
<br />
Check out my article from Queerty.com. Please read the reviews and comment.<br />
<br />
Thanks,<br />
YuriYuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2115766276695943680.post-74067867388675625202014-10-13T10:58:00.001-07:002014-10-13T10:58:40.430-07:00Back when i was the "Tea Fag"<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Nine
years was an interesting time in a young boy’ life. It was the point before we
learned to take ourselves too seriously. It was the age of innocence. It was
the age of spontaneous erections and awkward discoveries. It was the time when
we truly understood the power of a good fart joke. This lightheartedness faded
with time for some people. It was also the age where someone could do something
that would stick with them for life. Trust me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
For years people would call me the
“Tea Faggot.” I wish I would have had a good comeback and self-esteem to
corrected them then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have
said, “I like coffee too!” I never did though. I was nine. The world was a
different place then. The internet was still a big wilderness and a twinkle in
most of regular people’s eyes. “Beverly Hills 90210” was on TV. It was the
first time around, when Donna was STILL a virgin. Kirstie Alley was known less
for her size and more for her incessant whining on “Cheers” then. It was just a
different time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I was in the fourth grade. I had
three real friends. I was related to two of them and one of them gave birth to
me. The point is that there were slim pickin’s and that was okay with me. My
cousin Nicole was one of my best friends not completely by choice but mostly by
situation. We were latchkey kids two months apart with mothers who were
sisters. We looked like twin boys until puberty completely hit. I was nine so
that tide hadn’t hit yet. We were also in the same class Nicole and I. We also
had the same friend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
After school Nicole and I would
walk to her house. This was where I lived as far as the school district was
concerned because it was a better neighborhood than my own. Our mothers both
worked long hours because they had to which left us with lots of down time.
This was where we learned to be creative. This was also where we realized that
we loved television more than some of our relatives. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The second we got home the TV went
on and we went on search for a snack. After dealing with the drudgery of being
little fat 9 year olds who were teased often, we needed some caloric love. I
would go through the cupboards and fridge and create amazing snacks. There were
quesadillas, bologna and tortilla sandwiches and sometimes my aunt would leave
us quiche. Yes quiche. If that didn’t sound cute enough, I would also have tea
every day. What 9 year olds drink tea? Me. With quiche and tea I’m surprised I
ever had the need to formally come out to anyone.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It was one fourth grade afternoon
that was just like many others before it. Nicole and I were just finishing
watching an episode of “Tale Spin” and about to put on our favorite movie,
“Hook.” It was at that moment we both were startled by the sound of the
teakettle. My other cousin who was 20 at the time was in her room so we weren’t
exactly alone. Since the whistle meant it was tea time, I went to pour Nicole
and I a Styrofoam cup. I know, who uses Styrofoam? It was a different time.
Anyway, there was a commercial that came on the TV as I was pouring the hot
water into the little cups that has a loud bell noise in it. I got startled,
tapped the table with the cups and spilled the boiling hot water all over my
shorts. It took me a second to realize what has happened. I then started to
scream. It felt as though my shorts were literally stuck to my skin and burning
through it. I wanted to rip the shorts off but I was in front of 2 girl
cousins. Not knowing what to do my older cousin makes me hop into a bath
running cold water with the shorts still on. I would eventually get the shorts
off, pulling some of my skin with it. It was horrible. My normally
pale-bordering clear skinned leg was now lobster red. My poor 20 year old
cousin looked horrified running cold water on me. She quickly called for an
ambulance. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
When the ambulance arrived at the
house so had my mother. This was odd because in those days my mom was late to
everything. We would often tell her to come to events an hour earlier than the
actual time for this reason. When my mom arrived I was being transferred from
the bath to the weird bed they carry you on when you are being helped by an
ambulance. Hot, muscled EMT guys carrying me on a cot. An image wasted on 9
year old me. As the two men carried me to the ambulance my mom followed less
than a foot away in tears. My mom went from tears to bustin’ balls inside the
ambulance van. I was screaming due to the pain in my leg. This was before I
knew the appropriate obscenities. It was just yelling. We are speeding through
intersections and the female EMT say, “We don’t allow screaming.” I wanted to
tell her we didn’t allow her Millers Outpost look but would make due. I didn’t
say that. My mom though made eye contact with the woman and shut her down. She
then said, “if he wants to scream, he is in pain. Let him scream.”</div>
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Once at the hospital it took at
least 2 hours for a doctor to help me. Bureaucracy at it’s best. They didn’t
even give me a pain reliever. My mom spent the whole time pacing and losing
sanity. After a long wait and waiting again they gave me a pain reliever and
proceeded to remove some of the layers of shin that were burned off. Then my
leg was wrapped with all sorts of bandages. From the waist up I was a pudgy
little boy. From the waist down, I was all mummy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had second and third degree burns all over my left thigh.
On the upside, I missed 4 days of school, which to me was bliss. This was 4
days of watching “I Love Lucy,” “Sally Jesse,” and some other crap. I was in
heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was until I returned
back to school. It was there I learned my new name “Tea Faggot.” It would be
years until that name went away, then they would call me simply “faggot.” I
would become a better person for all this.</div>
YuriKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09878765278197470571noreply@blogger.com0